Reflecting on the whirlwind of recent months, my journey into the world of SMEs has been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride. October marked a significant turning point for me. After nearly a decade in the corporate world, I took a leap of faith and bid farewell to familiar routines. It brought a torrent of new experiences— learning the ropes of the business and feeling the thrill of something entirely different.
November seemed to stretch into a continuum of learning, coupled with an unexpected weight of pressure that seemed daunting at times. And just when I thought I’d gotten a grip on what “crazy” truly meant, December arrived like a storm, with the excitement fueling my journey slowly fading amidst the overwhelming demands.
I’ve never been one to break down over work, but that week before Christmas made me crumble. It was an unexpected moment of vulnerability that really caught me off guard. It made me think if pushing through is the best course or if it’s time to consider alternative routes. But I’m not ready to change course yet. Despite the huge impact of that week, I’ve decided to hold onto this belief that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be because it is the Lord who has put me here. Maybe these tough times are just paving the way for something brighter.
As this year draws to a close, I embrace the lessons learned and the newfound aspects of myself—discovering resilience, adaptability, and the sheer determination to push through storms. I wouldn’t necessarily say I have gained a completely renewed perspective, but I now carry a sense of hope and courage as I welcome the upcoming year. I acknowledge that within challenges lie opportunities for growth, and within struggles, the seeds of success are sown.
After eight years, I’m finally leaving the corporate world to embark on a new adventure. And, truth be told, it’s both exhilarating and nerve-wracking.
I’ve never been one to easily embrace change. I enjoy having a routine and structure has always been my trusted companion, especially in my professional life. However, as my wise friend Heraclitus reminds us:
“The only constant in life is change.” And change, as inevitable as it is, must be embraced.
The decision to resign had been brewing within me for quite some time. My boss wasn’t even surprised when I told her about it. Perhaps she had sensed the undercurrent of dissatisfaction and restlessness, despite being selected to be part of a new team. I genuinely enjoyed the new role at first, but that initial enthusiasm waned eventually. It became increasingly apparent that I was yearning for fresh opportunities to learn and grow. That’s when I finally admitted to myself that change was overdue.
Handing in my resignation letter took a lot of courage and a good deal of self-convincing that I was indeed making the right choice. I earnestly prayed to the Lord for the specifics of what I desired in my new job because, after almost a decade of working, I now have a clear vision of my path forward.
Following months of fruitless job interviews, a great opportunity fell on my lap and, to my utter surprise, the Lord had ticked all the boxes I had been praying for. It’s an amazing assurance that the Lord is with me on this new journey, as He always has been.
To be honest, I’m still grappling with fear. I guess it is mainly because I’ve been in my comfort zone for far too long and staying in it made me believe that I cannot succeed elsewhere. A huge lie, of course. After some time, I’ve come to realize that there’s no growth in the comfort zone. Sometimes, taking a leap of faith is the only way to really learn, grow, and eventually discover what else lies ahead of you.
I have yet to experience the dynamic world of SME, but I’m eagerly looking forward to the invaluable learnings it promises. As I step into this uncharted territory, I carry with me the lessons of courage, faith, and the belief that sometimes, the craziest decisions can lead to the most extraordinary adventures.
I’m poised to start work on Monday. I’m scared but mostly excited. It’s been so long since I felt this determination to actually give my best, and it feels so liberating. Perhaps my decision wasn’t so crazy after all.
Remember that time when I wrote about how thrilled I was to be turning 30? That time when I was eagerly anticipating the new and wonderful things that would unfold before me? Well, my first year of being 30 didn’t quite live up to my expectations. Of course, I didn’t anticipate a life full of unicorns and rainbows, but I never thought it would be this challenging and somewhat.. disheartening.
In early 2023, my plan to move to South Korea just fell through. I’d been gearing up for this leap since late 2020 and I was so convinced that it would happen. I ticked off all my checkboxes to make it a reality, but no dice. I wouldn’t go so far as to say my universe crumbled after getting a solid “no-go” for this year, but it was a real bummer.
A few months after receiving that upsetting news, while still tending to my broken heart, I found myself going in and out of clinics due to abnormal bleeding. It was due to a sizable polyp. I had to undergo surgery to have it removed from my cervix, thereby putting an end to my 30-year streak of avoiding hospitalization.
Facing job rejections didn’t make things any easier. I managed to pass initial and follow-up interviews, only to miss the final cut. I wasn’t unemployed, but I was in the midst of actively seeking new opportunities when I unexpectedly found myself hospitalized.
As the famous proverb says: When it rains, it pours. And it really poured in the first half of 2023.
I found myself crying out to God quite often and out of the blue, telling him that I didn’t deserve this. I was prideful and bullheaded. And then slowly, I began to pity myself. Each morning turned into a battle as I wrestled to face the day. My enthusiasm for work vanished. I was really.. sad, so sad that I felt like crying whenever someone asked a simple “How are you”.
But as usual, He held me through it all and spoke to me through people, songs, and His Word. A devotional plan called “Walking Through Spiritual Valleys” nudged me to take the first step to climb out of the pit I dug myself into. One beautiful thing I picked up from it that I think I will cherish for the rest of my life is this: It is during our walk through the dark valley that we have to rely on what we KNOW rather than what we FEEL.
All of the things we learned about our Savior on the easier days seem to fade when we’re in the valley. Our faith weakens each day. Doubt creeps in. We feel far from God— alone and afraid. That is why it is vital to remind ourselves of what we know about Him.
We are not walking through that valley alone. He is with us the whole time. And although we can never grasp His thoughts and ways, we can be sure that we can fully trust Him. BECAUSE He loves us and He is for us. If He allows us to walk through the valley, then He has a good purpose for that valley.
I’m still on my journey out. I have my share of tough days. Yet, I’m not weighed down by the sadness and discouragement that consumed me a few months back. These days, I make a conscious effort to remind myself that I’m a work in progress, just like everyone else. And it’s not even about our will or hard work. It’s simply about God’s grace in us. My intention is to keep embracing that grace that guides us out of the deepest pits and darkest valleys.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
It feels strangely calming and satisfying to be turning 30. I remember dreading the year I was going to turn 25. I didn’t want to celebrate it AT ALL because I made myself believe that it was not worth celebrating. I thought that life had already passed me by and that I’m a failure because I wasn’t able to accomplish as much as I wanted for myself. It’s still true though until now. I still wasn’t as “accomplished” as how the world would put it, but what changed over the years is perhaps my perspective and my renewed convictions in life.
In a lot of ways, I still feel like 20, but I also feel that I’ve grown so much since then. Of course, there’s still so much that I don’t know. I haven’t figured it ALL out! But I think I have learned quite a lot before turning 30. Let me share a few of these learnings with you 🙂
1. There’s always beauty in the mundane. It’s one of the best things I’ve learned from being a fan of Japanese literature. Life can be exhausting, boring, and monotonous but there’s always something good there even when it’s a dull day.
2. Health is wealth! And it has become more evident today than ever, (no) thanks to COVID. Nothing will matter if you are not in good health, so be wary of what you eat and drink, and see to it that you get enough sleep. Rest is as important as work and play.
3. Delayed gratification is always worth it. I have learned to manage my impulses over the years, especially whenever I have a goal in mind. Having the ability to resist temptation for immediate satisfaction can really help you focus on and pursue the things that really matter.
4. Save and save early! I have always kept a portion of my salary for emergencies. It’s important for me because I used to live in the city away from my family. However, I tend to forget to really save because I only use one account for both my emergency fund and my savings fund. Over time, I have learned that it is important to have separate accounts for emergencies and savings to ensure that the money I’m saving for the future remains untouched.
5. Don’t be a snob. Let people enjoy their thing! Your taste is not superior to other people’s taste. We come from different walks of life and we like different things. It’s a fact that we have to learn to embrace.
6. Be a flexible planner. Life is unpredictable and challenging. Most of the time, the things you’ve planned well in advance won’t go the way you want them to, so it is better to be prepared to make adjustments along the way. But I have learned that for flexible planning to be effective, it is important that I have a clear goal so I wouldn’t just be aimlessly doing tasks.
7. Take pictures and back them up or print them. It’s been my greatest regret that I wasn’t able to back up all my Facebook photos before I deactivated my account. Photos are timeless treasures. They allow you to remember beautiful memories that sometimes you thought never existed. So take as many photos as you can, especially during special occasions, and don’t ever forget to back them up.
8. Wherever you are, whatever you do, do it well. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve landed your dream job, or you’re working for a small company, or you’re still a student finishing your thesis. What matters is how you do the job. You hate the job? That’s fine, but make sure that you still do it well because how you work says a lot about you. And even if the higher-ups don’t see it, God always does, and that’s enough reason to keep striving for excellence.
9. What you consume greatly affects you. So be mindful of what you feed your brain. Life is short and too precious to just be spent on things that don’t give meaning to you.
10. People come and go but real friends will always stay. You don’t have to intentionally keep your circle small as you grow older because it will surely happen without you noticing it. And that’s okay. Real friends will always be there because you have a deep, intimate, unbreakable bond with them. No matter what happens, no matter what seasons you’re all in, you’re still friends and you can always pick up where you left off.
11. Be presentable. I used to be very lazy when it comes to dressing up, but that had to change when I got into my mid-20s and people still saw me as a teenager. Admit it or not but we instantly form our perception of others as soon as we lay our eyes on them, and that is why it is necessary to look presentable wherever you go. Perception changes over time but I do believe that first impressions last.
12. Make time for the things that you love. Play is just as important as work and rest. You don’t have to fill every hour of your day, but it is important to make the effort to dive into activities that fulfill you outside of work. It’s an investment in yourself.
13. Hold onto your character and values. Times are changing, and there are things about you that will definitely change with it, but the things IN you shouldn’t. That is your character, meaning your quality as a person, and your values, meaning the important principles you believe that build your standard. Hold onto them because these things make you you.
14. There’s no need to rush. Enjoy where you are at the moment and make the most out of the time you have there. Take it one day at a time or as Jordin Sparks said, “One step at a time.” And even if you’re waiting for something huge to happen, don’t rush it. Again, as what Ms Sparks said in her song, “It’s gonna happen when it’s supposed to happen~”
15. Your worth is not in what you own. It’s actually just a paraphrased version ofMy Worth is Not in What I Own, a song by Keith and Kristyn Getty, and Graham Kendrick. The song speaks about our true significance being found in our identity in Christ. As a Christian, I also struggled with the thought of how society would view me.. as a woman, as a young professional, and as a person overall. And for a good while, the voices of this world have unexpectedly weighed me down. But the Lord is really good. He has carried me through all these years and He has always shown me how blessed I am no matter what my circumstances are. As I got older, I have come to appreciate myself more and be comfortable with who I am and what I can do because of Him. I have finally come to understand the simple fact that life is so much more complex and beautiful than what society dictates.
I’ve heard people say that the 30s are “the best” years of adulthood, and I’m starting to believe it because turning 30 felt like.. a refreshing beginning for me.
I’m excited to see what the future holds, but at the same time, I’m not really expecting that much. I just want to enjoy everything that comes my way and continue to look unto Jesus as I face a new decade of my life.
I was never into birthday celebrations, especially birthday surprises. I appreciate them and I don’t mind participating in them, but I’m not the type who would organize and coordinate just to celebrate a birthday or surprise someone. As an adult, I usually celebrate my birthday with my family. Nothing grand. Just the four of us eating good food in a good place while enjoying each other’s company. And I love that kind of set up. However, I decided to change it a bit this year. I wanted this year to be extra memorable because this is the year that I’m finally and eagerly embracing adulthood or should I say titahood.
This year, I decided to celebrate my 30th birthday with my chosen family. These people are the ones I can relate to the most because they are also the ones I was with the most, growing up as a teenager. They are the ones I am very comfortable with because they are open and genuine, and they appreciate me for who I am. We don’t get to catch up that much because most of us don’t always go online, but it’s so easy for us to talk for hours and update each other when we do find the time to hangout.
My best frenemy, my sister, my person ❤
My high school BFF, my forever coolot friend ❤
My college barkada, my hermanas (insert Andi and Aira) ❤
And since we don’t always update each other, imagine the chaos inside my head when I was trying to coordinate our schedules for our Boracay trip! I was really anxious that it might not go ahead, or only a few of us would be able to come. But the Lord is so good, He really made it happen. It was only by His grace and provision that we were able to fly and celebrate our friendship on a beautiful island.
Boracay Island, Philippines
We were a group of 13 all in all. My sister, Hanna, came with her college BFFs too, while my HS BFF Miah brought her boyfriend Panda with her. This trip is really not just about birthdays but also about the friendships that we’ve made and kept through the years. My heart was so full having these people around during the best weekend of my life. It was indeed a memorable 30th birthday. Thank you, Lord!
Is it possible to live without passion? If no, does it have to be something big and bold? Can’t it be something that you just enjoy doing.. Like reading good books or singing along to songs you love? I’ve been asking myself these questions for as long as I can remember.
I look at the people around me and I see people who are passionate about something- art, music, writing, sports, ministry, their job, their business. And then there’s me who gets surprised and anxious whenever asked, ‘What are you passionate about?’.
When I was in elementary and high school, I excelled in both academics and extracurricular activities. I was very active in church ministries too. I loved everything I was doing back then, and I can say that I was ‘passionate’ about two things: singing and playing table tennis. But then I grew up and that intense feeling whenever I do those things, it’s all gone now. Sure, I still enjoy singing and playing ping-pong, but the feeling whenever I do them now is not as intense as before, and that burning desire to make something out of them is just not there anymore.
searching for passion as an adult and not finding it haha
Over the years, I’ve come to realize that passion is a feeling. It can change. It intensifies when fuelled. And it can die when not nurtured.. Just like mine. AND THAT’S OKAY.
We, humans, are complex creatures. We have many interests. We enjoy doing so many things. And those interests and things that we enjoy doing can change over and over. AND THAT’S OKAY TOO.
I’ve read posts and heard people say that having no passion means living a life with no colour or with no soul and many things similar to that. It’s unnerving and annoying, really, to hear and read things like that because.. Life without passion is still life, and a life worth living.
We don’t have to be passionate about something to be able to live fully. Every person’s life is important and can be fulfilling and meaningful with or without passion. Having no passion doesn’t make us any less ❤
mirrorball 